Friday, March 02, 2012

BJP for UP 2012

Alright! Since everybody and his uncle has been making predictions on the UP elections, let me throw in my 2 cents. In another three days, it will be proven whether I am right or wrong.

Note: All my information is from tertiary sources since it is next to impossible to sit here in Ohio & have access to primary / secondary sources. So, most of my success / failure to predict the results needs to be attributed to luck, more than anything else

My Predictions:
Samajwadi Party: 140+/- 20 seats
Bahujan Samaj Party: 100 +/- 20 seats
Bhartiya Janata Party: 90 +/- 20 seats
Congress: 40 +/- 10 seats
Others: 0 to 40 seats

As much as I wish BJP to form a government, I don't see that happening. I think the SP will form the govt. with support from Congress and Others; BJP and BSP will sit in the opposition.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

A Conversion Story*

Around 400 years ago, the Portugese landed in Goa. The Kulkarnis and Deshpandes living in Goa welcomed them for trade and commerce. Portugese being Catholics, built a few churches and practised their religion. As mandated by their religion, they tried to convert the Deshpandes & the Kulkarnis into Catholics by inviting them to see the love of Jesus. However, the natives refused.

So the Portugese hit upon an idea. A novel idea from some (devious?) scheming minds! The Portugese spread the idea the bread they ate was impure and it had the flesh of Jesus in it. Technically true, since all Christians claim that the bread given in the church indeed has Jesus' flesh. So, if the Hindu brahmins ate it, they would become impure and would no longer be Brahmins. This led to the Kulkarnis and Deshpandes to avoid the bread like the plague. Once it was established that folks who ate bread would become impure and lose their religion, the Portugese now were now ready to execute the second part of their plan.

The Kulkarnis and Deshpandes shared a village well to draw water. The Portugese now secretly threw the bread into that village well one night! The bread sank to the bottom. The Kulkarni & Deshpande families drew water from the well normally for their daily use in drinking, cooking, etc. The bread became lighter and started floating on the water after some days. Now, all villagers who had consumed water from the well were impure! The other Brahmins (stupid narrow-minded @$$h03$) ostracized Kulkarnis and Deshpandes. Sensing an opportunity, the Portugese swooped and convinced the Kulkarnis and Deshpandes that they were now Christians since they had consumed the flesh of Christ. The Ks and Ds had no option but to convert and they were now christened Carvalho and D'souza respectively!

I wonder how gullible we would have to be to be converted in this fashion. And how devoid of morals were the Portugese Catholics who used these tactics to convert locals into Christianity.

*As narrated by a Carvalho whose uncle researched their history to unearth this.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Indians need "Emergency Education"

Emergency education is the knowledge of dealing with an emergency situation like an accident/ a bomb blast/ earthquake/ etc. Actualy, make that only accidents and bomb blasts, because these two have become common occurances in India, for reasons attributable to the government as well as the citizens.

I could not believe my eyes when I read that the people pelted stones at the police after the Mecca blasts. Finally (since tear-gas shells and lathi charges failed to stop the miscreants) the police had to resort to firing and five people were killed.

Indians need to be educated formally (as part of the school curricula) on how to react in such a situation. I believe, this would have helped save the lives of these five people as co-operation with the police and skilled volunteers helping the injured in an orderly fashion would have minimized the damage. I believe that Emergency Education should be a compulsary part of Physical Education or Community Living courses (cound not think of any other subject to put this under)

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Cricket Business Plan

Now that India has lost its chance to take a shot at the 2007 World Cup, I was wondering if we can use the craze for cricket to make money. Yes, the BCCI is making tons of it already, but they still cannot insure their sponsors of losses (to the tune of Rs 150 crores; approx. USD 35 million) to Sony Entertainment Television and unaccountable losses to other sponsors due to decreased viewership of the remaining matches.

The Idea:
Have all matches rigged!!!
Easier said than done. But it can be done. And No, I am not saying that it will be done illegally. So what am I going to do?

I am planning to start a company on the lines of the WWE
The sport will be cricket. Let's call this firm Cricketmania Inc. (CMI)

CMI will have individual players (from different countries) contracted to play exclusively for the CMI. Players will preferrably be flambouyant and aggressive, so that they can be over-hyped (like the Sachins, Laras, Sehwags, Dhonis, Afridis, etc. of the world) or be tough hunks (Haydens, Freddies, Sir. Viv. Richards, Gayles, Graeme Smiths, Khans, They also can be dangerouls looking like the Donalds, Nels, Vaas and Akhtars of the world. Rarely will contracts be offered to the placid Dravids. Flemings, Chandepauls, Youhanas, DSilvas, Kumbles, Warnes et al)

Teams will be based on countries, no doubt. But there will be guidelines provided to the teams as to who'll win and who'll lose. Every player should have a guideline for # of runs to be scored, wickets to be taken, catches dropped, etc. The players can improvise within a given set of guidelines. Ofcourse, teams with the highest fan following will reach the finals and will often LOSE (WC 2003 was perfect for most advertisers as India reached the finals)

Yes, initially, the quality of cricket will not be as good (read there will be no perfect yorkers, perfect out/in swingers, fast balls, slow balls, etc.) . But let's face it, the viewers want the batsmen to score. They do not want the bowlers to take wickets. Ofcourse, these will be one-day matches (maybe even Twenty20 cricket)

How do I allow legal rigging?
By mentioning this fact on the company factsheet!!! The company will publically claim (not publicise) that the matches will be played with a set of suitable guidelines for participating teams. Since all players from all teams are under contract with the firm, they have to oblige. The players obviously do not have much of a future in the actual cricket anyways, so they better comply :-)

If WWE can be a thumping success, so can CMI!!!

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Left's left its mind behind

Read the news item above. Rahul Dravid innocuously went to a "Surya-Namaskar-Yagna" in Nagpur and the Left thinks it is irresponsible.

Pray tell me what is bad in urging students to do surya-namaskar in the morning? I have absolutely no doubt that the ritual is good for the body (it is after-all, a form of exercise). Surely, the left has LOST it

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Saddam Husseins in India

Read the following news items:

If Saddam Hussein can live on, pray why Adolf Hitler cannot? Recently, some enterprising people opened a restaurant and named it "Hitler's Cross". Why was there such a hue and cry over it and just because a certain minority wanted it down, the name was changed to something more acceptable.

Wonder what would happen if some support groups identifying themselves with the persecuted minorities in Iraq demand that all these children and the village be renamed or killed/destroyed.

My Take:- Individual Freedom should not be compromised. Individuals can exercise self-censorship, but there should be no moral policing. So the people have every right to name their children "Saddam Hussein" or "Hitler "or "Osama Bin Laden" or even "Donkey Bush Pig Laden" as they wish amd Hitler's cross should have remained as it was. If someone does not like the name of a restaurant, do not eat there.
If you do not like M.F. Hussein's paintings, by all means do not attend his exhibitions, condemn his paintings in any public forum, all is fine till you do it peacefully and not inflict any damage (physical) onto Hussein's work or try him from stop him from painting. Paint M.F. Hussein or his mother or his sister or any one nude and being serviced by a donkey, if you must, but do not harm the guy. Similarly, condemn the Danish cartoons by all means, but do NOT go about destroying public property or try to kill the cartoonist. Do not buy the Danish newspaper if it affects you.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Rights and duties

Title may be misleading as I do not have an appropriate title yet.

A discussion I was having with my friends about animal rights was whether it is right for people to feed stray dogs with biscuits when many people are starving. In my locality in Mumbai, I find a number of animal lovers buying 1 kg biscuits dily to feed stray dogs. Ofcourse, I have a very valid and different reason to hate this practice, but I still feel they are within their rights to feed the dogs.

Actually, it is not about dogs. Let me put it this way. These people are spending their hard-earned and legally earned (i.e. after paying taxes to the Govt.) money and they have every right to spend it the way they wish without any moral obligations as long as it does not compromise on any other person's rights. (It would be wrong for them to buy a bomb and blast it in a crowded market-place) And since it is their personal income, one should not take offence to it saying that a lot of people are starving, so the resources would be better spent on them. My reason to hate the dog-feeders is because the stray dogs are encouraged to stay on in the locality and they are at best, a nuisance who bark at niht and disturb sleep, and at worst, dangerous as they bite many an unsuspecting pedestrian and represent a real danger to children. I would like the govt. to either gun these dogs down or round them all up and leave them in the jungle away form humans. But I digress.

A second point that was made here was that killing of the dogs is wrong and that they should be neutered and/or vaccinated against rabies. I have nothing against the poor dogs, but here, again, the individual is well within his/her rights to neuter the dog or vaccinate it with his/her money, but when the govt. money is used, the most efficient approach should be used (efficient and cost-effective is to kill the dog) and no one should have any objection to that, because the poor people actually deserve the state's money (The taxpayer's money should go to provide the optimal benefits for the citizens) and every penny needs to be wisely spent without personal ethics taking any precedence.

The discussion then took a small turn and we started discussing about the rights of animal-rights organisations to stage protest marches and physically stop research using animals as guinea pigs (pun!!!) for their experiments.

My take on the same: The animal-rights organisations are well within their rights to protest against the experiments, but to disrupt and physically stop people from doing them is wrong, simply because the people doing this are not harming them. Secondly, the honest tax-payers money is being utilized for the projects, no individual has the right to disrupt it. If you really want to stop the practice, file legal proceedings.

Update: (29MAR2007) : A 6 month old baby killed by strays in Hyderabad